I was looking over some of my past journal entries today. I really like to complain about my life. At first I thought it was a bit immature, and I sounded like some emo highschool kid who is just craving attention. But then I realized that writing is one of the only avenues I have to vent. So, maybe it's not all that bad. You all don't have to read any of my entries, and/or care. I just want to put my thoughts out there. It makes me feel like I'm storing them in some safe place so I don't have to carry them around all the time.

So, as some of you may know, I haven't submitted anything on here since last summer. I'll tell you why... I guess I don't really consider myself an artist anymore, to be honest. Sure, I went to school for art, but that doesn't really mean anything. Will I ever get a job in the art field? No... probably not.

After working at FedEx and lifting 1000 boxes an hour for the past 2 months, I realized that I should've thought more about my future before I made the decision to switch to art. There are not a lot of jobs for artists out there. Sure, there are tons of Graphic Design jobs! But as an Illustrator who was not good enough to get into the Design program at Uconn, and knows nothing about website building, those aren't really options for me.

I just got a new job at Foxwoods, which is actually a downgrade from FedEx. Less pay per hour, but less work too. FedEx is awful. Don't ever work there. I'm serious. The job is crap.

And as I was job searching, I realized I will never have a decent paying job. Even with a college degree, unless you have some sort of valuable skill, the real world does not give a crap about you. One thing is for sure, I should've learned HTML and CSS. Because most of the art jobs out there require some sort of previous knowledge/experience in said subject.

So needless to say, I'm seriously regretting my switch from engineering to art in my college days. All you highschool kids out there, I don't mean to make you nervous, you can do anything and be successful if you put your mind to it. All I'm saying was that, I wasn't a very good artist when I switched majors, and I never really made much of an effort to improve myself, so I ended up screwing myself in the long run. I guess my problem was that I always thought I was an awesome artist until I got thrown into art school and saw that everyone else was much more original and had more drive than I did. But I didn't want to admit that people could be better than me, which is probably why I never applied myself. *sigh* So... I guess what I'm saying is, a person should be more careful about falling into that envious, denial cycle otherwise you might end up like me; working at FedEx, and downgrading to a less stressful job. Cheers guys. I hope your futures look much brighter than mine, and sorry if I depressed anyone.